A Revisionist History (Lishi Backstory)

Lishi had, again, accessed that insidiously attractive power in the mission tonight on Bespin. She'd intentionally used the dark side of the force, and this time she had difficulty in feeling even a shred of remorse.

She had seduced an Ugnaught engineer into taking her and Eclipse for a tour of the tibanna processed facility where he worked. His overtures had grown more and more confident as they continued the tour, to the point of being grotesque. It also became clear that she would not be able to find the information she needed if he were to remain with them on the tour, nor would her crew be safe from recognition in the days leading up to their ultimate goal here on the planet.

So, when the moment was perfect, she tripped him and allowed him to fall through a gap in the railing of the stairway they were on and into the gaseous void below.

She saw the horror in Eclipse's face at what she'd done, but had little time to discuss it with her before a higher up in the factory approached them and asked them what they were doing here.

Lishi tried to spin in, saying that their friend had been giving them a tour and that he fell by accident. The higher up asked them for his name and commanded that they follow him the the manager's office so that he could look up any employee by that name and start processing information regarding his death.

When he could not locate an employee record under that name, Lishi realized the jig was up. She snuck up behind him, both lightsabers in hand. She activated them, forming an X right through his neck and slicing through sideways, beheading him.

It was instinct. It felt like what she'd been built to do, like her body knew these moves to make.

But, how?

Eclipse would not talk with her when they left and headed to their lodging. She merely balked in disgust and stuck several steps behind Lishi.

She was a bit shocked to find Ushutwasho and Bromm all bruised a banged up. Ushut's ego was almost as battered as his face, and he wasn't too keen on her apologies for flirting with the Ugnaught, even after she explained that she was trying to find out how they might be able to refine tibanna for their rebel friends.

"Your rebel friend," had been his response before he headed to his room.

She sighed, waved at Bromm and Quyn who were staying up talking while she treated his wounds, and went to bed herself.

In her sleep, she had nightmares. She often had nightmares, recurring memories of the death of her tribe and the death of her mentor.

But, these nightmares were different. They were twisted somehow.

It started the same. Imps land on Shili and eviscerate her tribe. She escapes and hides.

But, instead of Lerokee... The Imps find her. An Inquisitor is there with them. Human. He wasn't as old as Lerokee, maybe 40 years old, or so. his hair dark and the smooth skin on his face looked gray and dull. His eyes were ringed to the point that he looked exhausted - almost dead. And his smile made her feel ill.

"She's a filthy Togruta, but the force is strong with this youngling. She'll do just fine."

Just as the Inquisitor was about to grab her wrist, she shot up awake and ran to the refresher and vomited. She wiped her face and went back to bed, managing to fall back asleep.

She dreamt again, but now of sterile rooms and beeping machines. Tubes and probes and needles everywhere she could feel.

She was still a child, but not as small when she'd first been found. She'd been living in rooms like this for a couple of years now, being tested and tortured and experimented on. But, this day was different. This day, a female Inquisitor came into the room with the scientists she'd come to recognize. This Inquisitor was quite young, maybe in her late 20s, but Lishi could sense the foreboding amount of power within her. It pressed in and filled the whole room, to the point that Lishi felt suffocated by it.

"Yes, this one is fine. Get her ready to release to be released into my custody immediately."

The Inquisitor was named Shirasa. Lishi didn't know how she knew the name, but she did.

Shirasa was a cruel and tyrannical master to her new Togruta apprentice. She had no patience, no kindness, no understanding. Instead, she had expectations and an endless list of fitting punishments for Lishi's failings.

Under Shirasa, Lishi learned to wield two lightsabers with near expert proficiency and efficiency. Death became her trade, murder her wages. She paid for her meals, clothing, and shelter from Shirasa with a bodycount.

But, never praise.

Shirasa made it clear that Lishi was not a true apprentice. She was Togruta, unworthy of that position. Instead, she was Shirasa's very adept slave. In fits of rage and frustration, she began to actually punish Lishi when she excelled, bitter that anything other than a human could do what she could do. That none of the humans she'd attempted to make her apprentice had survived. That Lishi had failed to be expendable, be killed while carrying out the bidding of her master.

One night, when Lishi was around 15 years old, Shirasa came for her. Like a coward, she approached Lishi from behind while she was exiting the refresher after a sanisteam, betting on Lishi not having her lightsabers on her. But, it didn't matter. Lishi had noticed her coming through her montrals. She'd noticed Shirasa's bloodlust for some time and had been on high alert. She'd rushed through the sanisteam, dressed as quickly as possible, and took the lightsabers that she kept on her at all times in her hands. She was ready.

She waited just in front of the door, her montrals tuned as accutely as they could be to the movement down the hallway. She held her lightsaber with her hilt pressed to the door, parallel to the floor. As soon as Shirasa was on the other side, she activated her lightsaber, the beam puncturing the door and stabbing her mentor through the abdomen. She retracted the lightsaber and heard a thump on the other side of the door.

Cautiously, she opened the door, peering out into the hall as it slid into the wall to her left. Shirasa was laid out on the floor, a hole and scorch marring her black and gray dress. Her breathing ragged and labored, she looked up at Lishi with eyes full of hatred.

Lishi felt the full power of Shirasa's force lift her off the ground and throw her against the wall, holding her there off her feet, and crushing her. She struggled to breath as she watched Shirasa rise from the ground and drag herself towards her, a trail of blood on the floor behind her. She took the lightsabers from Lishi's hands using the force and turned them to point at Lishi, the beams of light unsheathing themselves, and she slowly pressed them into Lishi's upper arms.

"I was going to make your death quick, as a kindess," she sneered and coughed. "No more."

Her pace slowed, her breathing hitched and gurgled in her throat. The intensity of the force crushing Lishi eased. She was inches away from Lishi when she took one final choked breath and dropped to the floor, dead. The lightsabers retracted and dropped to the floor on either side of her.

Lishi dropped suddenly to her knees on the floor and gasped for air. She swallowed hard, adrenaline coursing through her. If she had been less prepared she would have been the one who died in this hallway.

She ran for Shirasa's private quarters and took as much as she could carry, then she escaped.

Eventually, she did meet Lerokee, but under much different circumstances than she had first remembered.

They had fought. Sort of.

She had been scrounging by, working as hired muscle, an assassin, or a bounty hunter for anyone who would pay her. She found herself opposite him in a conflict on some backwater moon where her target had been hiding. He had been hired to protect the man.

In five minutes, the blind old man had knocked her flat on her behind and managed to take both of her lightsabers, but he didn't use them. He was likely twice as powerful as Shirasa had been, but the force that surrounded him was light and warm. It felt like she could breathe it in.

It was pouring down rain, and she sat in the mud and begged him to end her life. She could not defeat him and she found no purpose in the life she was living, no purpose in the life she had lived.

Instead, the old man smiled down at her and extended his hand to her.

She cried as she took it and allowed him to assist her out of the mud.

"You are so young. There is so much time and life ahead of you yet."

He took her in and he tried to teach her many things, including how to access and use the light side of the force. But, the dark always drew her in. And, she was tormented by the memories of the life she was trying to leave behind. Even as she helped so many others at Lerokee's side, she felt as if she could never make up for all of the horrible things she'd done. She still wanted her life to end.

Lerokee refused to assist her, but he did have an idea that might alleviate her suffering. He contacted a friend who had worked with the Old Republic on memory flashing and they flew to his planet.

"This is a very risky experiment, my friend," the old scientist, Tenna'r had said. "This procedure is meant for implanting memories in clones, blank minds with nothing yet in them. And, even then, many clones suffered from terrible misery due to this procedure. We are not meant to have memories of a life we did not live."

Even with his protestations, he agreed to attempt something that had never been done before. He copied Lishi's memories, then altered the events within her memories to completely replace Shirasa with Lerokee. Her cuelty for his kindness. Her killing missions for his saving missions. The memories of her lightsabers and strength in the force - the idea of the force in general - erased completely by her choice.

In her dream, she laid on a table, it's cold sterility brought an unwelcome familiarity.

The next thing that happened in her dream was her trying to escape with Lerokee and him dying in front of her.

She woke, shaking and drenched in sweat. She felt an enormous void in the pit of her stomach, the feeling that these weren't dreams but memories sinking down deep within the void.

No wonder the use of the dark side of the force came so naturally to her. It had been her companion since her childhood. Her plaything and her weapon. She knew it as well as she knew how to speak.

No wonder she killed with such ease and callousness. She had been taught to think of killing as just one more way to get a job done.

She shuddered at the memory of how easy it was to kill those two Ugnaughts. The Imp laying prone in the doorway... well, he was an Imp and it was hard to feel remorse over his death.

But, the Ugnaughts...

Lerokee's memory flooded her with guilt.

If her dreams had been reality, then maybe she'd struggled so much with control over herself when she used the force because it was so natural to her, but she had no memory of how to control it. So, it controlled her instead.

She had to get control of it, control over how to access and use the force, but for good. Her cause was still the same. She wanted to bring an end to the Empire. Even more so, now that she remembered how cruelly they had treated her as a child. How they had used her. She wanted to use their training against them, use the force against them. Both sides - any and all sides - of the force.

She doubted Eclipse would be willing to train her anymore, but maybe now that her memories were back that would be enough.

She had to confirm that these memories were real, though, that it wasn't all just some gruesome nightmare.

She stood up and turned on the glowpanel in her room, then walked to a mirror. She lifted up the sleeves of her shirt and found two very faded round scars, one on the front of each of her upper arms.