Orbiting a Dying Star (Lishi side story)

In a quiet moment after traveling away from Dewbright and back to the little town where everything had started back on this planet, Lishi took the Jedi holocron with her to a small meadow she found near the Jedi temple and sat on the ground across from it.

She liked this meadow, with tall grass tipped with light blue blooms. It reminded her of the colorful fields on her home planet.

She had felt something in her mind begin to shift after they had aligned the vergence on the planet with the lightside of the force. She’d felt as if she’d suddenly gotten free from the orbit of a dying star the moment her mind had cleared of that waking dream at the bottom of the funnel. The nightmares she’d been experiencing had stopped since then, as well.

At the same time, however, she’d felt this hole open up inside of her. A space where all of the wicked and evil had been carved out like a gangrenous infection, leaving a hollow and painful cavity in its absence.

She wanted some more answers, but didn’t quite know what the question was. She could feel it in her bones. Some abstract ask, larger than herself but somehow infused in her as well.

She thought about midichlorians and then immediately stopped trying to think about midichlorians.

Then she looked at the holocron and focused on it before closing her eyes and opening herself up to the lightside of the force, surprised at how easy it was.

She trembled, feeling guilty. This shouldn’t come easy to someone like her. Even as she thought that this line of thinking practically begged for the darkside to invade her meditation, the lightside seemed to wrap itself around her in warmth along the surface of her skin.

She heard a voice, or a few voices, but they all said the same thing to her.

“You cannot change the path you have already walked, but you can change what path you choose to take now.”

“I don’t deserve to walk this path. I have taken the lives of so many. I have allowed myself to be used as a scythe in the hands of the Empire.”

“Allow your awareness of the pain you caused and the blood you have shed to serve you. Know that you have done wrong and allow that knowledge to become wisdom as you pursue the course of good.”

“What I’ve done is unforgivable.”

“Perhaps, but was what was done to you not unforgivable as well? And what was done to those who wronged you? If we are constantly seeking blame, we will always find it. And what then? Those you wronged will not be satisfied by your punishment at your own hands.”

She choked on a bitter laugh.

“And yet, they cannot punish you now, either. So your self loathing benefits no one. It only adds more darkness.”

She pondered this for a moment, but had no response.

“If the path of the lightside was not open to you, then you would not be experiencing this moment. You would be deaf to these words. Let go of the anger and hate that you have towards yourself. Do not try to bind the darkness that you have within you, let it go.”

She took in a deep breath and released it. Her eyes opened. The faint glow of the holocron dimmed and she realized the sun had begun to set. The blooms in the field around her had begun to close. Everything around her seemed at peace.

She noticed that her cheeks were wet and she wiped tears away from them as she stood to pick up the holocron and return to the ship.